mum2

The sky was dark.. Rain came down..
Business was quite ok.. not much to complain..
but things went wrong when we went home..
lights were on in the house..
which meant mum is back..
but as we went in..
piles of things were packed up n mum was sitting there..
it was obvious that mum wanted to leave..
this ain't joking matter..
does things really had to go until this situation??
i'm not a straightforward person..
i dun noe how to express words or feelings..
especially when it comes to kinship..
if i don't remember wrongly..
i have not been saying "i love you" to my parents..
have not been hugging them..
most probably i felt shy..
but this wasn't suppose to be, right?
we as children should love our parents who brought us here..
i really want to ask mum to stay.. but stubborn person she is now persist to go..
i cried.. i hide aside to weep..
why is this happening??
i kept asking mum why she want to go..
when she is coming back..
why she want to take all the things..
where she is going..
the answers she gave seems to avoid the truth..
she ignored my dad..
she was mad at my dad..
everything he asked or said.. she made no response..
when an car came to fetch mum..
i initially didn't want to help mum to take the things out.. hoping her to stay..
but still i barefooted taking the things out and into the car..
sobbing and crying.. my tears just came down uncontrollably..
broken speech came out..
telling her to come back ASAP.. take care.. n bye bye..
my feelings were just so complicated that i dont know wat to say..
i'm just like a kid crying over a spilled milk..
what done is done..
being unfillial brings retribution..
n mine was a broken marriage between parents n mum is leaving home..
i'm tired now..
I juz pray that mum will be safe n could relax n cool down for the moment..
really hoping she will come back ASAP..
Please God.. bless n protect my mum.. thank you..

PS:i juz read an article n it touched me a lot.. especially after this matter..
http://cookie-4-u.blogspot.com/2010/05/blog-post.html

mum

it' been long.. how long? dunno.. HAHA..
n y i'm up here? easy.. coz i got internet.. finally..
just signed up yesterday..
a lot of things happened..
n i gues the most important and serious is mum..
mum's condition is getting serious..
too much pressure n affecting her to be very suspective..
n over a period of time.. she just went crazy..
n when mum told me (sms) she's in mental hospital..
some kind of depressed came up to me..
my parents' relationship is getting worst too..
i felt.. helpless..
i felt tired..
what will happened to mum n dad?
most worry bout mum's health..
she is getting weaker..
dunno how much longer she'll stay with us..
but as mum is very 'degil' person..
she dun't even to recognize my sis..
haiz.. i am a unfilial child.. not doing anything for them..

another half

lately, i felt empty.. no.. lonely..
never realise this kind of feeling b4..
mayb i'm juz still not mature enough to know it..
something.. something seems missing from my heart..
someone told me it is my another half..
oo.. so it means i need love liao la.. haha..
wait.. am i too selfish 2 think of this now??
i mean my mum is seriously ill n my dad's business is getting worst..
haiz.. dunno la..
but i suppose i'm still not suitable..
i can't understand why kids nowadays kept having "love" hanging on their mouth..
all b'coz i have no experience gua??
no.. i guess i can't..
i'm still immature..
when i think i'm still a kid.. i'm a kid..
that's why i'm still so childish..
i'm unlike nuraini or whitney.. they r so independent..
not me.. impossible to b..
i need someone to lean on..i can't do it all by myself..
i have no confidence at all..
haiz..
conclusion.. i just felt a sudden pain when i saw shuai ge.. so which meanuz a normal girl.. hahaha..
oh n my tooth is not pain liao.. but still swollen.. haiz..

tooth ache 3

3rd day..
I want to thank God b'coz i suffered juz in the morning..
but still pain bah..
n i could feel the swollen part was better..
hope the best for tomorrow.. no more pain.. or else i'm going to go hungry for days.. haha..
So.. gd nite n sweet dreams to me.. haha..

Tooth ache 2

Damned it..
My stupid tooth kept bugging me..
i can't eat..
n i can't work..
as it caused serious headache..
finally dad sent me to hospital..
but shit the traffic..
i kept crying..
and i waited 4 about 30min..
n the result was..
"it is swollen.. so u got to eat antibiotic n come back next week to pull off.."
NOOOOO!!! how am i going to survive 4 1 week???
I might just go die..
i hate this painful feeling..
it's killing me..
Doom doom doom...

a reply to aini

Hey ya sis.. a long 'chit-chat' note u wrote.. haha..
Anyway, firstly.. they won't get well soon..
most probally needs miracle.. as they are getting old liao..
mum's condition more serious..
work hard?? lazy la.. haha..
n it is very tired.
no idea how they manage it these few years..

Comics.. i'm already too addicted to it..
i craved for more though no $$ already.. haha..

i still haven't got the slightest clue about my future..
no idea what i want to be or to study.. i don't know what i'm really interested in..
so.. no need to revise.. hahaha.. but yeah i'll try..
yeah.. STPM.. but i'm not going for form 6..
though initially yes..
dad told me to take business & management in tamasek..
though i'm not really interested..
but i guess need to start study harder la..
or else dad's $$ fly away..
n it start next month..
dunno whether i can hold on for how long.. haha..

n u leh??
continue form 6??
though u can't go overseas is a bit "ke xi" la..
but look on the bright side..
u stil had time to spend with ur family n old frenz..
cherish every moment.. coz u'll never know wat happened next..
dun b as stupid lyk me.. haha..
K la.. we go for it together..
remember.. i'll always be there for u when u need..(though it seems impossible)
or else.. i lend u my ears also not bad la.. haha..
Miss u n SJ a lot a lot..

PS: i might call u this weekend ah.. haha..

tooth ache

a miserable day.. very miserable..
like the title had said.. a painful day..
though it started during noon when i can't eat..
then it got worst..
that dreadful feeling..
that pain that seemed to rip my life..
AHHHH!!!
it was last year oct i think also lyk dat..
i cried at school.. went home continue crying..
then went to tuition kept crying..
that awful feeling.. n now it's back.. haunting for me..
i cried again.. but no help at all..
dad isn't free to bring me to dentist..
how am i going to survive?? ah!!!
stupid tooth!! y u just wont let go of me??
head ache.. don't want to say liao..
warning to u tooth.. i'm going to pull u off TOMORROW!! Go DIE!!
hahahaha.. Awww.. pain..

??

today mum still didnt go to work..
still unwell..
so.. i need to work again.. why can't i sleep??
today not many people..
so a lot of leftover..
mum was really weak n she even said she want to leave..
down..
went home 5pm..
had a bath then took mum to see "tabib cina"..
dad also had a look..
tired but i cant let the chance to use internet go away..

oh n today is my sista's favourite idols' burpday..
so i hereby also wish HEBE "happy birthday!!"
She must be very happy?? (i think..)
n also another fren's birthday..
or u might say.. a "special" 1.. haha..

anyway.. it's time to sleep.. nite..